wakey wakey hands off snakey
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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