doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
