i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
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on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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