i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize