New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
