Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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