Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
