The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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