Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
