You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing