well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work