You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now