Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!