So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...