i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!