Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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