3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
