erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
