Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.

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  (619): If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library. http://tfl.nu/gs64
  Replies (59) Good night (1003) Bad night (3705)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.

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  (617): I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not. http://tfl.nu/e6fg
  Replies (91) Good night (1021) Bad night (7809)
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  (925): View more from California

  just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook

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  (925): just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook http://tfl.nu/1a75
  Replies (32) Good night (3844) Bad night (2236)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Now he's lighting his socks on fire

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  (920): Now he's lighting his socks on fire http://tfl.nu/p3kv
  Replies (9) Good night (2736) Bad night (1181)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.

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  (206): Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have. http://tfl.nu/w5t0
  Replies (5) Good night (2048) Bad night (609)
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  (818): View more from California

  He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.

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  (818): He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year. http://tfl.nu/aaaw
  Replies (9) Good night (696) Bad night (2530)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.

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  (484): announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention. http://tfl.nu/v327
  Replies (11) Good night (2076) Bad night (451)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.

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  (239): He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish. http://tfl.nu/b945
  Replies (33) Good night (1029) Bad night (1858)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck

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  (717): can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck http://tfl.nu/v7jv
  Replies (4) Good night (1519) Bad night (643)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?

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  (484): In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic? http://tfl.nu/vp9h
  Replies (3) Good night (1743) Bad night (440)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.

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  (905): All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for. http://tfl.nu/6yyp
  Replies (12) Good night (707) Bad night (2168)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.

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  (403): No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for. http://tfl.nu/z644
  Replies (4) Good night (1308) Bad night (574)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.

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  (208): I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook. http://tfl.nu/vmgg
  Replies (1) Good night (257) Bad night (472)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home

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  (503): Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home http://tfl.nu/qybd
  Replies (5) Good night (444) Bad night (339)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  I feel awkward giving career advice while naked

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  (819): I feel awkward giving career advice while naked http://tfl.nu/b8zx
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (171)

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