Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.

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  (404): This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect. http://tfl.nu/w6ad
  Replies (17) Good night (1411) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way

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  (847): this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way http://tfl.nu/rl6u
  Replies (221) Good night (2648) Bad night (28623)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.

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  (304): I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine. http://tfl.nu/cm6i
  Replies (49) Good night (881) Bad night (6340)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet

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  (508): I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet http://tfl.nu/ryzv
  Replies (19) Good night (4827) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.

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  (440): i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court. http://tfl.nu/yjxx
  Replies (13) Good night (3232) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.

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  (859): While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed. http://tfl.nu/3phj
  Replies (8) Good night (3365) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently

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  (619): Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently http://tfl.nu/19aa
  Replies (6) Good night (1808) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."

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  (413): He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there." http://tfl.nu/pomo
  Replies (7) Good night (593) Bad night (3289)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day

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  (859): By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day http://tfl.nu/zi65
  Replies (2) Good night (1367) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Nobody in the ambulance liked me...

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  (775): Nobody in the ambulance liked me... http://tfl.nu/5rji
  Replies (11) Good night (922) Bad night (1805)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans

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  (610): Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans http://tfl.nu/llf4
  Replies (5) Good night (1195) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.

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  (707): I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy. http://tfl.nu/am87
  Replies (6) Good night (854) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...

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  (778): She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there... http://tfl.nu/opdp
  Replies (1) Good night (283) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?

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  (434): do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again? http://tfl.nu/uw87
  Replies (3) Good night (552) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing

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  (660): Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing http://tfl.nu/3f5g
  Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (182)

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