theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?