Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I puked a lego.

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(603): I puked a lego. http://tfl.nu/7r9h

Replies (10) Good night (1854) Bad night (2753)
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(716): View more from New York

do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?

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(716): do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car? http://tfl.nu/kx3d

Replies (10) Good night (3182) Bad night (630)
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(619): View more from California

We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.

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(619): We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling. http://tfl.nu/8xvz

Replies (35) Good night (2127) Bad night (17919)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.

(339): View more from Massachusetts

No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.

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(508): Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor. (339): No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though. http://tfl.nu/0uyr

Replies (34) Good night (9826) Bad night (1482)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.

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(402): I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back. http://tfl.nu/jjtt

Replies (8) Good night (2505) Bad night (841)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.

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(908): You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams. http://tfl.nu/yznu

Replies (23) Good night (3825) Bad night (1250)
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(212): View more from New York

Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?

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(212): Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'? http://tfl.nu/4fhn

Replies (18) Good night (1829) Bad night (822)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.

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(506): Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11. http://tfl.nu/fzyl

Replies (3) Good night (2241) Bad night (574)
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(248): View more from Michigan

My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"

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(248): My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues" http://tfl.nu/nel0

Replies (5) Good night (979) Bad night (953)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously

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(617): A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously http://tfl.nu/7jfj

Replies (4) Good night (2732) Bad night (598)
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(314): View more from Missouri

shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help

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(314): shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help http://tfl.nu/q76e

Replies (6) Good night (1622) Bad night (626)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things

(1-443): View more from Maryland

Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.

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(443): Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things (1-443): Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit. http://tfl.nu/9byp

Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (809)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..

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(215): i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out (1-215): you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night.. http://tfl.nu/3w68

Replies (4) Good night (369) Bad night (1012)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.

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(814): Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn. http://tfl.nu/bgu3

Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (273)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad

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(843): I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad http://tfl.nu/ivow

Replies (1) Good night (726) Bad night (281)

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