And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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