My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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