she takes plan B like it's going out of style
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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