Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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