Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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