I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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