All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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