i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
