So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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