Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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