apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
