he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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