she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
