yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
