She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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