Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
