Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
