And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
