if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize