found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
