there was a trapeze. enough said
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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