So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hippo gnu deer
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
