my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize