i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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