It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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