she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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