I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can't put those talents on a resume
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
