Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
