Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
