If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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