So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
