i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
