You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
