What a fucking waste of an outfit
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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