Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
