While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Mom said you looked used
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
