there was a trapeze. enough said
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
