last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
