I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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