dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
