I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
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he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
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