No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
