Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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