What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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