I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Dear god my vagina.
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