Jerry, you need to find god
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
